sword of kumdor is i'll get to writing the opening later here's a link to a much better introduction to the game from the person who did the translation.

you wake up in a fancy room and hear a knocking at the door. a guy comes in and tells you that you're the galaxy's last hope, and then falls over and plays dead

after that I went outside, took a spaceship, got drunk, crashlanded, and lost all my xp and money

wandered around the town of asdfas for a bit and spoke to the NPCs who told me I couldn't possibly be a good touch typist, I didn't have nearly enough exp to be that

the monsters outside killed me pretty quickly, so I had to find a way to get the money to buy the A, S, and D keys from the shop. an NPC in the southwest of asdfas said it was raining money and that, oh yeah? if it's yours then does it have your name on it? oh wild it does, here you go. this let me buy the keys and leave town and head east to the town of juklan, but not before picking up the shift key from just to the northeast of asdfas.

in juklan, I bought the k, l, and ; keys, and the NPCs are saying I should head to the cave to the north, which is the only route to some other town.

Heading east through the cave I found an extra pip of HP on the ground.

and a bit to the northwest of that I found a backspace key.

At the back of the cave is a typing test. Type too slowly and get a game over. Make a mistake and you have to start over. It's not too hard, but it did take me a couple of tries to clear because it's nonsense letters that I have to type in exact order relatively quickly. It doesn't help that to type ; I have to use the =/+ key, and it really doesn't help that I've been putting off sending in an RMA to my keyboard's manufacturer to go and fix it after I spilled an energy drink on it a few weeks ago, which means that most of my keys work, but sometimes A and Q stick, and a couple of the keys on the top row don't work. Probably not the best idea to be LPing a touch typing game while my keyboard's broken, but c'est la vie.

After clearing the touch typing test, I made my way northwest to the town of Rtyu. take a guess which keys they sell here. The NPCs indicate that the town used to be a diving hub, where they'd talk with chatfish, but the fish have disappeared with the appearance of monsters in the lake, and the diving business cratered. One of the NPCs says that I might be able to find an Aqualung in the town of Qwey.

Heading to the town of Qwey after getting all the keys from Rtyu opens up the key shop there as well as lets you buy the Aqualung for 100 spice from a villager at the house in the northwest corner of the village. Heading to Qwey before getting all the keys from Rtyu has those locked off. The guy at the key shop is confused when you tell him people sell keys, because he just sells weapons.

While I was wandering around grinding, I heard the overworld theme change to something a bit more pleasant, which I promptly recorded and uploaded here:

After buying the G and H keys from Qwey, the locked warehouse in the city of robots to the southwest of Rtyu opens up, with some new typing tests. I did not realize this, so I just kept grinding monsters until I had the spice to buy all the rest of the letters in Qwey, which unlocks the typing test in the key shop there. There's enough keys now that it's almost to the point of asking you to type real sentences!

The overworld theme changed again while grinding, this time to something carnival-esque. Listen to it here:

After collecting enough spice to buy all the keys in the area and get the Aqualung, I head to the diving school in Rtyu, where I'm told that pressing D dives down and pressing U floats up.

Heading down the lake I find a smokemoss and a diving gauge. The diving gauge rotates a bit as you dive to show you how many layers down you are. At the bottom of the lake is another typing test. This one has real words so clearing it is a bit easier.

Making my way up the other side of the lake, I reach the town of Iopa. Some of the NPCs mention a crystal compass in the mines to the east of the fog valley, and an abandoned sawmill to the west. I try going to the mines, but to fight the enemies there I need the C key, which is sold at the counter next to the one where you buy the IOP@ keys. There are three key merchants in town, actually. One sells IOP@, the next sells ZXC, and the third sells ,./

Heading west through the fog valley, I find an HP box.

After buying the ZXC keys, the sawmill to the west of Iopa opens up, and some NPCs talk about spells. After buying the ,./ keys, the hands in the middle of the sawmill stop blocking your path. At this point the typing tests start feeling almost philosophical.

With all the available keys obtained, it's time to check out the cave. It seems like the cave's pretty large and has a bunch of typing tests inside, so I'm thinking I'm going to want to stock up on items.

Alright, so let's check out each of these in order:

Taking the bottom-left path, there's a crystal and a wad of cash with 112 spice.

Taking the top-left path, there are two crystals on the wall. Continuing along the path, behind the typing test is a crystal and a box with a Sardine. At the end of the path is another crystal.

Taking the top-right path, there's a crystal on the wall.

Taking the bottom-right path, there are two typing tests. Clearing them both allows you to get the crystal magnet.

With the crystal magnet obtained, you can follow its direction through the fog, where, after clearing a typing test, you can now reach the town of Vybnym.

On entering Vybnym, you find that there's some commotion. The people of Fivetown have evacuated and are taking refuge in the town hall.